"PANTIES IN A BUNCH"

     At the end of today’s shift I had discovered that a complaint had been logged against me.  Prior to my leaving the store, Katz sat me down and told me one of my co-workers thought I was too bossy.  Perhaps I was too bossy. Perhaps I was the mature one with experience I had wanted to share because this place couldn’t seem to function in any well-meaningful manner that I could make logic of.

     As I read the complaint I realized the complainant was Dan.  A gay dancer with more issues than Sports Illustrated.  He talked perpetually, and I do mean nonstop to add a comment to anything that was being said between other people, to a customer, to one of MY customers, or, if only to hear himself speak.  I am guessing he had trouble at home being heard.  He was about 20, I think, but acted 12 at best.  

     At first, my blood pressure rose when I discovered it was green-apron policy to allow anyone to file a complaint against anyone else without having to sign the complaint.  They can do it anonymously.  So, apparently Dan complained about everyone.  Because he could, and no one would know it was him.

And thus was the discovery of Dan the dancer's passive-aggressive behavior.

     Poor Katz, after having me sign the complaint, literally left the store to go get a pack of cigarettes without saying good-bye.  She needed them to deal with the stress of having to talk to a 52 year old former business owner about her responsible behavior and how to stop caring. She also was brave and kind enough to add, off the record, of course, that she felt that Dan was a pathological liar.  And, that I was not alone in my recognition of his disturbing behavior.   

     As she exited the back door of the store, I stopped in my tracks from leaving, because I realized Kevin, a co-worker who was upfront cleaning, would be left alone in the store.  So, I did the right thing and waited for Katz to return.

    When she returned, I headed straight  to Walgreens, unfazed by the rock-throwing Dancer, for some fun and festive Easter stickers to put on the bags of candy I was excited to be preparing for my co-workers.  I gave serious consideration to filing a complaint against Dan as I eyeballed the Reese's Eggs.  In my imagined complaint I described his passive-aggressive behavior becoming unbearable, and felt that someone should counsel him, to discover the root of the problem, or suggest to him using his corporate health benefits to seek mental health counseling for unhappy attitude toward his life.  In my complaint, I went on to say that passive-aggressive behavior is, in fact, a form of abuse, and we are all being abused by this behavior.
     This is all fact-I learned through therapy.

     I called my daughter and told her of Dan's complaint against me.  She instructed me to have a personal chat with Dan using these words specifically....

     “Dan, I have lived three lives compared to the one you are trying to live now, so don’t get your panties in a bunch when I actually try to get something done in the store.  I’ve been quite successful in my life.”

     This helped to make me feel better and from then on I referred to Dan as “Panties in a Bunch”, because that was who he was.  Just like Dances with Wolves. 
     It was his given name wrought through behavior.